APC Internal Democracy comes under scrutiny as a commentary questions party primaries and electoral credibility in Nigeria
By Bola BOLAWOLE
A friend and an avid reader of my columns, who is also a professor in one of the country’s first-generation universities, asked if I could publish what you are about to read. I promised him I would take a look at it.
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Titled “APC political yoyo” and authored by one Haruna Badamasi writing from Ile-Ife in Osun state, it is a sarcastic commentary on the recently-concluded party primaries of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC).
Judging from the authorship, my friend might not have been the writer, except he had chosen to use a pen name, but reading through the piece, I saw that it spoke to our present situation and, therefore, I decided to publish it.
The views expressed therein are not entirely mine and the “Bola” mentioned there is also not my own “Bola”. When we return, I will make parting comments as usual. Enjoy it:
“The rain had just stopped when two friends, Tunde and Bola, settled into their usual corner at Mama Sade’s makeshift canteen. The television hanging above the drinks’ refrigerator was loud enough to compete with the noisy generators outside. Every station carried the same breaking news: The APC party primary election had produced unexpected winners across the country.
Unexpected because, according to nearly everyone who (had) followed the process, the announced winners appeared to have lost magnificently. Imagine someone who scored 10,000 votes losing to another with 1000 votes!
Tunde stared at the screen with the confusion of a man trying to solve advanced calculus without numbers.
“My brother, how can someone understand what happened? Yesterday at the collation venue, a candidate was leading with enough votes that stood him out as the winner. This morning the candidate trailing him has become the flag bearer of the party. Were there other votes from elsewhere that were added after we slept?”
Bola nearly spilled his beer laughing. “You still believe elections end when votes are counted? You are naive.”
“But they showed the delegates queuing behind their candidates on television!”
“Yes.”
“They announced the figures!”
“Yes.”
“They even interviewed the candidate that had the highest number of votes as the winner!”
“Yes.”
Tunde spread his hands dramatically. “Then, how did the candidate trailing become the chosen?”
Bola leaned forward like a lecturer about to explain a complicated theory in political science.
“You are looking at politics with ordinary eyes. What happened is what experts now call APC Political Yoyo.”
“Political what?”
“Yoyo. It is like playing with a toy that has no capacity to determine its stability in the sky. It goes up, it comes down, then, suddenly, it flies sideways and hits somebody that was not involved.”
Tunde burst into laughter!
“No, seriously,” Bola continued. “In normal democracy, whoever gets the highest votes wins. But in our own advanced political technology, winning is only the first stage. After that comes consultation, reconciliation, alignment, realignment, strategic harmonization, and, finally, supernatural arithmetic.”
Tunde nodded slowly. “Ah! So votes are just opening ceremonies.”
“Exactly.”
The television presenter interrupted with a dramatic tone. ‘Party stakeholders have reaffirmed their commitment to transparency and internal democracy…’
Both men laughed so hard that nearby customers turned to look at them!
“Transparency?” Tunde said between laughs. “This transparency is powerful. The real winner became invisible immediately.”
“My friend,” Bola replied, “it is the kind of transparency where everybody sees what happened but nobody is allowed to say it.”
Tunde lowered his voice. “What pains me most is that the winning candidate (has) already celebrated. I saw supporters dancing. They even printed congratulatory posters overnight.”
“Very dangerous mistake,” Bola said solemnly. “In Nigerian politics, never celebrate too early. Before morning, your victory can develop technical issues.”
“Technical issues?”
“Yes. Missing documents. Signature mismatch. Party supremacy. Consensus agreement. Invisible committee recommendations, inconclusive (election). There are many diseases that attack victory in this country.”
Tunde laughed again.
“And look at the delegates,” he added. “Yesterday they were singing one man’s praises. Today they are carrying another man on their shoulders.”
Bola shrugged. “Delegates are loyal professionals. Their loyalty follows the direction of survival.”
The canteen owner increased the television volume as another analyst appeared on screen: ‘The outcome reflects the maturity of the party’s democratic institutions,’ the analyst declared confidently.
Tunde almost choked on his drink.
“Maturity? If this democracy matures any further, it may retire completely!”
Bola smiled. “You must admire the creativity, though. In other countries, politicians rig quietly. In Nigeria, they rig with motivational speeches.”
For a moment the two men watched silently as clips from the primary election (were) played on screen: Delegates cheering, party officials waving documents, security officers pushing crowds aside.
Then Tunde sighed!
“You know what amazes me? Ordinary Nigerians still queue under the sun believing votes matter!”
“My friend,” Bola replied, “votes matter very much. They matter especially during press conferences.”
“So what really determines the winner?”
Bola counted on his fingers.
“Powerful godfathers. Close-door meetings. Emergency consultations. Last-minute alliances. Political debts. Fear. Ambition. Deep pockets. And, occasionally, if there is enough time left, votes.”
A nearby customer burst into laughter after overhearing the conversation.
Tunde shook his head again.
“At this point,” he said, “politics in this country is like football where the referee announces the final score two days later from his living room!”
“Wrong,” Bola corrected him. “Football is more organized. At least players know when the match has ended.”
The television now showed the victorious candidate addressing supporters: ‘This victory belongs to all party members,’ the politician declared.
“Yes,” Bola muttered sarcastically. “Especially the members who voted against him!”
The canteen erupted in scattered laughter.
Tunde looked thoughtful for a moment.
“Do you realize,” he said slowly, “that (during) every election season, we hear the same grammar? Internal democracy. Level playing field. Unity. Due process.”
“Those are ceremonial words,” Bola replied. “Like decoration on a wedding cake. Beautiful to look at, but not the actual food.”
Another news alert flashed across the screen: ‘Party leadership urges aggrieved aspirants to accept the outcome in the interest of peace.’
“There!” Bola exclaimed, pointing at the television. “That sentence always comes after somebody has been politically kidnapped.”
Tunde nodded knowingly.
“And the funniest part is that, tomorrow, everybody will gather again, smiling for photographs.”
“Of course,” Bola said. “Politics has no permanent enemies, only temporary microphones.”
Evening traffic thickened outside. Horns blared endlessly while the generator coughed like an old smoker.
Tunde finished the last of his drinks and leaned back.
“So tell me honestly,” he asked quietly. “Who actually won this primary?”
Bola smiled with the calm wisdom of a man who had watched too many election cycles.
“The usual winners.”
“The politicians?”
“No,” Bola replied. “The people who never appeared on the ballot, who never campaigned, and who never stood under the sun asking for votes.”
Tunde frowned. “Then what was the point of the primary election?”
Bola stood up, dropped money on the table and adjusted his shirt.
“My friend,” he said with a grin, “in this country, elections are sometimes like cinema trailers. The real movie happens behind closed doors.”
As both men walked away from the canteen, the television continued celebrating the triumph of democracy – in the Nigerian style…
Bola shook his head “I hope the APC is not demonstrating the symptoms of Egbekegbe in the words of Fela Anikulapo!”.
And the two friends disappeared into the dark night!”
Welcome back! What the writer is saying is that there is no internal democracy in the political parties. Although he zeroed-in on APC, the same malaise plagues the other political parties.
Like we have said over and over again, the political parties are the different fingers of the same leprous hand and birds of a feather.
The difference between them is like that between six and half-a-dozen; between half-full and half-empty.
The inference from this is that political parties that do not allow free and fair elections within their own political parties cannot be expected to subscribe to credible elections between political parties.
So, elections will always be rigged because politicians that rig elections within their own parties will also rig elections against political party opponents.
Therefore, there is nothing INEC can do to stop election rigging by rogue politicians. All INEC efforts – BIVAS, BIMODAL, ELECTRONIC OR WHAT-HAVE-YOU – will always amount to nothing and all the resources committed to the conduct of elections will end up a waste.
Again, party members that do not see anything wrong in the subversion of internal democracy within their own parties; who cannot stand for, and defend credible elections within their own parties cannot be expected to do so in national elections.
The credibility of elections is compromised right from the moment internal democracy is compromised within the political parties. And this cuts across the board. Pray, are there any party primaries that have not been dogged by allegations of imposition and rigging?
Both the leadership and followership of the political parties are ideologically barren, morally decadent, and intellectually deficient and obtuse – a malaise much of the entire populace has been infected with wily-nily.
For, as Marx and Engel posit, “The ideas of the ruling class are, in every epoch, the ruling ideas; meaning that the class which is the ruling material force of society is at the same time its ruling intellectual force.” (Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels in “The German Ideology”, 1845).
Contrary to arguments or expectations about who is president and who is not, the rot is systemic.
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Every corrupt, inept, decadent, compromised, and morally depraved ruling class must be done away with before the society as a whole can heave a sigh of relief and the people begin to enjoy the dividends of democracy.
(Published in the TREASURES column on the back page of the New Telegraph newspaper edition of Wednesday 3 June, 2026).
